Social expectations: A dread! A line of control! A joy when met and celebrated! We have our own expectations of an ideal family, society; others expectations of us, our family, or communities; and our own positive or negative, high or low expectations of us, ourselves. How many expectations must we, can we, should we meet?
If that’s not enough, there are those things called social cues. They are worthwhile if that is a family person, friend, spouse, or your favourite organization. Social cues are like helpful bacteria in nature; billions of them everywhere, help manage and understand nature and society, convert people to healthy system like eating pro-biotics in yogurt, but totally annoying if it serves the other person only. We must filter the social cues thrown at us by such self-serving people, or habitually charged-with-making-a-difference people.
Talking numbers, lets hypothesize that each person makes their version of a behavioural cue, of a hundred that they follow everyday. Possible Statistics are :
100 x earths population= 100, 00, 000,000, … (appx.😉)
Proof statement: Therefore, I find automatic happiness in zero expectations. Everyday. From everyone. ZERO thoughts leading to zero expectation to Zero blame. No super hero needed to rescue!
To some extent, it’s inevitable if you are a parent, teacher, or a leader; but there it’s a mutually benefitting arrangement, as long as there’s two way communication possible.
I also decided ages ago to minimize the effects of receiving social cues and instead of giving them, just kindly, sincerely suggest it “if you don’t mind my saying, …” and people will make their choice and even appreciate the honesty. Others will walk away and that is their choice.
It’s possible to get the point when you step across ‘A border.’ An out of culture experience provides different set of cues. It’s amazing that many common things matter to humans all over the world. But then, without giving it away, let’s face it, some countries or cultures just have more cues or even cue-giving habits than others.
Do we need to put on our red capes and fly to rescue others? Especially after reading a few self help books, or a psychology class in college, or a geography course, and we become Super Hero experts, (hell) bent on making a difference! (Umm … Don’t even go there😄! Not today).
Have a wonderful whatever comes your way: a weekend with favourite people, beautiful life giving rain, or the golden joyful sunshine!